blogging really is or feels narcissistic sometimes. i don't know, sometimes i just feel uncomfortable/weird inside when i put pictures of us up. or even writing certain things. and then i read blogs like seriously so blessed and i'm like ew am i like that? especially because i don't really blog in a "real" way (according to some) since i choose to only blog happy things. besides the stupid old man post. anyway i tell grant that i'm envious of my friend who publicly admits that she lets her husband wash the dishes and the car while she eats candy and sleeps. i said to grant last night, "how does she just really not worry about what people think of her?, i want to be like that" and he said "britt, i don't know why you worry because you are the sh**". this is the reason i love him, maybe some day i will believe him.
i realize that so many great things can come from blogging, like making new friends or being happy for other people and their accomplishments or even just learning to pay more attention to the sweet things in life... but sometimes i think it's unhealthy. i really do. since most people are putting up the best things in their life, it makes it easy for everyone to start comparing. and that can just be nasty. i think the reason why i'm ok with writing this (since i have serious issues with worrying about what people think) is because i know others feel the same. i listened to a talk by Elder Bednar last week about how dangerous the internet can be. not referring to what we would all assume but instead he spoke about creating these "virtual worlds". he spoke of the dangers that come when we live through the internet. when we live for our virtual worlds, when we live to impress our virtual friends etc. i do NOT want to be victim of this. and the talk really had me questioning all these things. life is good and should be thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis big while blogging should be this big. and gosh i'm not trying to preach here. maybe i'm just writing it to remind myself.
so anyway today i watched stephanie nielsen on oprah. i was so excited for it. and because i've read so far back in the archives i feel like i know her and therefore was nervous for her when she sat down with oprah. i loved seeing her talk and respond to different questions oprah was asking. she was much more lovely than her blog even portrays. i found her to be even more sweet, happy, humble and kind. and then to watch christian. mr nielsen, he was soooo charming. no wonder she talks about him the way she does. the way he was watching her just made my heart melt, and to think they have been married for nine years! i love her blog, i remember when i first found it, grant would come home to find me right where he left me; curled up in a ball reading her blog... in tears. she is so inspiring. i love how much she loves her role as a wife and mother, and with the crash it has molded her into even more than what she was. she not only loves to do the small things with her kids like cutting apples for them or whatever, now she really APPRECIATES it. and it was only monday night when i was laying on the kitchen floor whining because i didn't know what to make for dinner! i'm so grateful for her example, she makes me more grateful for blogging too.
p.s. feel inclined to feed my fishies.